- by Linn Barnes
The Iron Maiden II
“Good morning Mr Trump
Greeting from the SDNY
I’m required to tell you that we will not
be seeking the death penalty for your
hideous crimes, as unimaginably worthy as
they are of the extreme judgement of the law.
But, well, ‘the times they are a-changing’, get it?
Anyway, have you ever heard of the Iron Maiden?
Well, me neither until I got a
call from the director of the
Torture Museum in Rothenburg, Germany.
It's really cool and kind of simple:
The 'Maiden' is the effigy of a large, fierce
and powerful looking woman, maybe not your ‘type’,
who opens up like a book, don’t worry no reading
required, to reveal layer after layer of
iron spikes, which, once the
'accused and convicted' is ‘introduced’,
as it were, to our ‘Maiden’,
oh, yes, we've ordered one,
well, all you have to do is 'shut' the doors,
and we’ll see ‘what happens’. Should be a howl!
There was a time when this solution was very popular...
We think you’ve made it possible for a come back.
How about that?”
One word of caution:
Be careful ‘what’ you ‘grab’…